TwoWordHeap

This week’s Missed Connection is something we all can relate to: having the hots for a person who lives in close proximity to you. No, I’m not talking about that one time with your roommate and grilled cheese sandwiches, I’m talking about that elusive species known as an attractive neighbour. The romantic yearning that comes within at least 6-12 feet of prime stalking distance. This young man wants to fulfill his “girl next door” fantasy with his hot new neighbour.

Speaking of “hot new neighbors”, I would like to take this time to complain about my lack of “hot new neighbors” in my apartment building. There are not one, but TWO empty apartments across from mine that have been vacant since February. What is the deal? How can I hope to have a missed connection if I am losing the battle in my own building? And what exactly is the “girl next door” fantasy? Is it like the “naughty nurse”, “hot teacher”, or “bearded librarian” fantasy? Why am I so confused? Also, dude needs to learn how to spell “wave”, get some balls, and start knocking.

Until next week, keep on leering at attractive strangers and writing about it.

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