TwoWordHeap

Some of you that read the site know that I am knee-deep in Operation Broke As Shit. The stipulations state that I cannot spend a dime of my own money on unnecessary things. At first I thought that this would be a great idea but, as it turns out, I am going to miss out on Star Trek! Dear god… I may have made a huge mistake.

This is very difficult for me. I mean I missed WildDog-Amphibious-Military-Guy Movie^[1] but Star Trek is by all accounts a genius recreation of a definitive Sci-Fi nerd classic! HOW CAN I MISS OUT ON THIS!? Apparently I have to, and apparently there is very little that I can do to allow myself to see this flick before it becomes June. Now waiting until June is OK in regards to many things, but for seeing the M.A.M.O.T.Y (Most Anticipated Movie Of The Year), waiting a mere 48 hours could literally cause major psychological problems! I am barely holding everything together right now because people have seen various secret screenings already throughout the United States and abroad.

I may break my vow because I must see this flick, but I’d really rather not compromise my principles for what could be one of the most exhilarating cinematic experience of the year. I would like to believe that I am someone who can accomplish what he puts his mind to. I would like to believe that I am someone who can accomplish his dreams. However, it appears I may not be able to and, once again, I will do something that I regret and crush my own dreams. So please, someone… help me! How do I see this movie without breaking any of the rules of my Operation?

Maybe I should have checked to see which movies would be playing this month before I decided this Operation would be a brilliant idea…

Movies of May

• May 1st, 2009
  Wolverine
• May 8th, 2009
  Star Trek
• May 15th, 2009
  Angels & Demons
  Brothers Bloom
• May 22nd, 2009
  Terminator Salvation
  Girlfriend Experience
• May 29th, 2009
  UP
  Drag Me To Hell

Look at those movies. Is this one of the biggest months in cinematic history? Even the ones that are not necessarily going to be that great will still be worth a watch!

So please… I beg of you find a way for me to get into Star Trek that will not cost me any money! Possibly the only way that this can be accomplished is JJ Abrams himself stepping in and making my dreams come true. I know this is kind of a selfish dream to have, but sometimes dreams should be selfish… I know this dream is a long shot, but dreams are not worth dreaming if they were not a bit of a long shot.

Dear Cinematic Genius JJ Abrams,

I am just a poor boy who has dreams. Most of these dreams will never be met. I can live with the fact that I may never throw a ball in a professional ball park. I can live with the fact that my name may never be mentioned in the same breath as Pacino, Penn, or Hoffman. I can live with the fact that more than likely I will never own an iPhone because Verizon will never do what it needs to do to make a deal happen. What I cannot live with is the fact that I may have to wait more than 3 weeks to see your masterful recreation of a 1960′s phenomenon.

How do I know that this film is going to be as brilliant and influential on the culture of Western societies as I claim? Well it is simple… You are the same Jeffrey Abrams that brought us the story of an uptight ad executive who crosses paths with a convict in the brilliantly underrated Taking Care Of Business. Not only was this movie timely because of the political climate of the early 1990′s, but it showcased many timeless themes that few films have ever delved into prior or since. Also you are the same JJ Abrams that created a television show that covered subject matter that everyone was afraid to touch. A little show about a girl who was so incredibly strong and able to handle herself in a world where she felt so alone at first, but eventually found out that if she cut all her hair off that she would become even MORE alone than before. Felicity was a masterful creation and is easily one of the greatest TV shows of the past 27 years.

JJ, this is your chance to not only help facilitate a dream to be realized, but help prove to the young people of the world that if you try hard enough and put in enough work they too can reach for and grab the stars! It is important for the youth of today to know that it is OK to dream, and that those dreams can be realized. Sometimes even adults forget about pursuing their dreams. Therefore, you would not be merely helping out the youth but the entire population of the Earth.

So please, JJ, I beg of you, I am sure you are concerned with taking care of the planet through recycling and using green technology, so why not help out in a way that would contribute to a better psychological state of the entire population of the planet? Staying physically fit is not the only thing needed to be healthy. Focusing on the psychological status of the earth as well would not only make you a visionary but a hero to generations to come.

Again help me achieve my dream, and get me into Star Trek.

A simple dreamer,
Grant Tingley

If you have any way to possibly help me out please email me at grant@twowordheap.com, or get in touch with me through my Twitter feed.

Please help, and Kirk Bless.

1. apparently I did not really miss much there [↩]

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