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Not your average oysters...

Now, a few things about semen you may or may not know:

• Semen has nutritious value. It has protein, which is good for you.
• Everybody’s semen has a unique flavor.
• Some people actually like the taste of semen, contrary to popular belief.
• People have been cooking with it for years.

Hold up. Cooking? With…semen? I’ve heard of disgruntled cooks spooging in the soup, but to consciously use male ejaculatory fluid in gourmet recipes is something I have never heard of. That is, until this week, when I discovered Natural Harvest- A Collection of Sperm Based Recipes by Fotie Photenhaur.

A little back story on how I came discovered this cookbook that features semen-based recipes. I have a friend who gets immense joy coming saying the most vulgar and disgusting things to me just because my reaction is so enjoyable. To make a long story short, the phrase “boiled sperm” was uttered over dinner one night, which led to several unsuccessful Google Image searches until one night last week when he discovered this cookbook.

From the preview available on the website, this cookbook features recipes such as an “Almost White Russian”, “Man Made Oysters”, and the ever so subtle “Creamy Cum Crepes”. The pictures look like any pictures you would find in a gourmet cookbook, except you have the knowledge that they contain sperm. There is a section at the back of the book for helpful tips on gathering semen for culinary uses- you can refrigerate it for up to three days, or you can just ejaculate directly into your cooking pan. Seeing that some of the recipes call for larger amounts of semen, and the average male ejaculation produces about one tablespoon of fluid… you know what? I don’t even think I want to venture a guess on how they would do that.

The best part about this book, are the comments in the review section. The comments range from cries of fakery “there is no way this is real” to laudatory, but my favorite had to be this one:

Amazing [ No Rating ] 9 Mar 2009
by steve O’hara
We raised 400$ for a church during the bake sale becuase people could not get enough of the cream cheese cookies we made. Thanks Semen cookbook.

So take a look for this cookbook if you think that cooking with your future babies might be delicious. I’ll take my cocktails sans cock, thank you.

Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

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