Tubby Dog is perhaps the most horrifying and strangely satisfying food establishment within stumbling distance of my apartment. For those of who are not Calgarians or are creepy vegans, Tubby Dog is a gourmet hot dog place where you can get the most ridiculous and disgusting hot dogs known to man. Peanut butter? Captain Crunch? Wasabi? Just thinking about these toppings makes my stomach turn.
Tubby Dog and I have a torrid relationship that started about three years ago when I fell in love with their yam fries. Since then, I think I have only actually had two hot dogs from there, both of them being junior (smaller size) and what is called “The A-Bomb” (ketchup, mustard, potato chips, cheese, bacon, mayo). Now, both of those hot dogs made me ill, considering my natural diet consists of tomato soup, hard boiled eggs and Wild Turkey, but that hasn’t stopped me from going there to watch friends and loved ones heed the call of the dog.
Such was the case this past week when I went down to Tubby Dog with a friend to watch him consume what is called “Sherm’s Ultimate Gripper”. Bacon-wrapped deep-fried dog topped with ham, chili, cheese, mustard, more bacon, hot peppers, onions and a fried egg. Basically, this hot dog was a disaster waiting to happen.
The "Gripper" in all its glory
I sat there, horrified, as I watched him consume the dog in its entirety without breaking a sweat. Needless to say, I was impressed, and terrified at the same time. If I ate this hot dog, I would probably have a heart attack from trying to process the sheer amount of ass-rapery extremeness going into my body. I could not comprehend how my friend was not immediately going into cardiac arrest from consuming this dog.
I looked at him, half expecting him to start vomiting on me (which he probably would have liked, considering his personality), but he didn’t. He actually wasn’t all that impressed with the Gripper. The next day, he told me that there were no serious repercussions suffered. I don’t understand. For this, I salute my friend, for being able to eat something that I never will.
The terrible deliciousness that is Tubby Dog is located at 103 1022 17 Ave SW, Calgary AB. Carlene says, “Try the yam fries, but be prepared to suffer the dog”.
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le chein chaude so much better….
Nothing like it in Montana!! Very nice. I had the Sumo Dog and ordered a large fries. The large fries was a whole serving tray full. Nice work folks. My best meal in Calgary.
My problem with Le Chien Chaud is with the owner, a permanently gloomy Gus who used to order his chips and pop from a certain organic food warehouse (still does, actually). The guy was so humourless, rude and impatient that I felt compelled to tell the shipper (and quite loudly too) that “the guy from Tubby Dog’s here!” He really didn’t like that, but he kept coming back every two weeks for his pick-up order, still very unpleasant!
I recently went to Le Chein Chaud in Mission.. and let me tell you: pure deliciousness. Where Tubby Dog pushes gastronomical boundaries in the name of curiosity and wonder, Le Chien Chaud seems to be all about how delicious one can actually make the hot dog without it busting all over your face. Seriously. Deeeeelish.
The A-Bomb was my cherry-poppin’, first-time dog. The ketchup chips certainly intrigued me the most and boy oh boy did they delight me so. I wasn’t expecting such a glorious combination of what appears, at first, to be all the wrong ingredients. I mean c’mon, mayo and ketchup chips! On a hot dog!!! I was blown away by the genius of it all. Whoever dreamt up this whole “gourmet hot dog” concept is clearly on glue but somehow it manages to work. Don’t ask how, just try it.
Living near 17th Ave I’ve passed by Tubby Dog many a time but never actually taken the plunge until yesterday. Kinda neat My-Favourite-Ice-Cream-Shop style retro kitch decor and Hanna-Barbara cartoons projected onto the back wall – hmmm, okay. I went with the A-Bomb, which according to the menu contains bacon, cheese, mayo, mustard, ketchup, and potato chips. Being the naive TD-inexperienced peon I am I ordered it assuming that there was gonna be a fistful of chips on the side or something. Turns out they shred those bad boys up and PILE THEM on top of the dog itself, combining with the other artery-clogging toppings to form a literal mountain that pretty much oversized the dog itself. A good half of it wound up either on my face or on my plate, but god damn was it undignified deliciousness at its best.