TwoWordHeap

Julie & Julia

This is a movie about a woman reading about another woman and copying what she does AND, in the process, she writes a blog. AWESOME! I love movies about people copying other people. Essentially a woman named Julie is writing a blog about going through an entire cook book by famous female hunchback chef, Julia Child. It is an interesting premise that will undoubtedly end up with many scenes with flour and various other ingredients all over the place. She will more than likely have a husband who is very supportive at times but at other times doesn’t understand why she is doing what she is doing… essentially, despite the fact that the story comes from an interesting place, a blog, it may still lead us down a formulaic path.

View Trailer

And the likelihood that this will be a formulaic flick? 97%. But it will generate some money. This movie has a built-in audience of women who will definitely come out and laugh at the “OH THAT HAPPENED TO ME” moments in the movie. “HAHAHA I SPILLED MANY INGREDIENTS TOO!!! OH IT IS SO HARD TO READ A BOOK AND COOK AT THE SAME TIME!!!”

Whatever…

Whether or NOT?!: MEH?
I don’t know and I don’t really care. I would have to think that most human males will not enjoy this one. This is a “let the wives go out on their own” type movie. This really isn’t a ‘unmarried females’ group movie, because (at least in my case) not many of the ‘unmarried females’ COOK OR EVEN KNOW HOW TO TOAST A SINGLE PIECE OF TOAST! Monica^[1] breaks out into hives when she has to butter her own bread, so the chance that non-cookers will enjoy this flick? Zero to none.

Notables: Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Stanley Tucci, Mary Lynn Rajskub, & Jane Lynch.

Shorts

A crazy family-friendly flick? There is no way that this can be a success… can it? A movie that is so willing to spend the money on the special effects and yet cater completely to the smallest members of the family? Someone that can actually do this is the guy that just happens to be at the helm of this flick. Robert Rodriguez wrote and directed the last movies that succeeded in such a genre… Spy Kids. This movie is also, from what I have read, going to experiment with non-linear story telling, though that might backfire since the opening of UP confused all the children I knew.

View Trailer

THIS is a very interesting movie, because whenever I see trailers for movies like this I tend to think of a few things: 1) Would I enjoy the movie now, at my current age? 2) Would I have enjoyed it when I was the target demographic for this movie? 3) Would the children of today enjoy this flick? Using these questions, it really makes it difficult for me to recommend seeing it…

OK here is the whether or not…

Whether or NOT?!: YES
Despite the fact that I say no to every single question in my children’s movie scale of judgment, for some reason I have a feeling that this movie is going to be good and that the trailer is just shitty. But, if you are wondering where I get off going against my scale, just look at the notables for this flick. Now, let me add an epilogue to my WHETHER OR NOT and state: Only go to this if you have a child that asks you to go to the movie.

Notables: Robert Rodriguez, Kat Dennings, Leslie Mann^[2], Jon Cryer, William H. Macy, & James Spader.

A Perfect Getaway

What is this movie? Has anyone heard of this? Hang on, I am going to call my friend….

(phone conversation)

Yeah he hasn’t heard of this movie either… YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

View Trailer

Yep… horror flick… well it is technically a THRILLER, at least I think it is, but I still don’t care.

Whether or NOT?!: NO
Let this die a horrible, horrible death… Why is Steve Zahn in this?

Notables: Steve Zahn, Timothy Olyphant, Milla Jovavich, Chris Hemsworth^[3]

Cold Souls [NY/LA]

I don’t normally talk about movies that only get released in just 2 cities, but this movie intrigues me enough^[4] that I thought I should take some time to mention this. Since this is a little-known flick with such great star power, let’s watch the trailer together for the first time!!! YAY!!! I LOVE WHEN WE DO THIS!!!

View Trailer

This movie looks like a strange combination of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malcovich and maybe some aspects of Taken^[5] So I wonder if that would lead me to recommend it or not?

Whether or NOT?!: BIG YES!
This flick looks awesome and I really do enjoy when big stars actually end up playing themselves^[6] in movies. Just because they are able to have fun with how they are perceived by the public! So if you have a chance to see this flick, jump all over it.

Notables: Paul Giamatti, Emily Watson, & David Strathairn

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

This flick has had a lot of publicity in the blogosphere and the buzz leading up to the release hasn’t changed much. Apparently everyone says that this movie is a bastardized version of what G.I. Joe used to be and that they completely missed the mark. There was also a lot of rumors flying out there that the director, Stephen Sommers, was essentially fired from the film and locked out of the editing booth once filming was completed. All these things lead us down a really tentative path… Remember, Sommers is the guy that brought us the amazing Mummy franchise and Val Helsing.

View Trailer

This movie should have been a slam dunk for whatever company released it and trust me it will still make money in the long run. Even if it is as campy as people claim it is going to be, the international market will embrace it. Why? Because all those backwards countries tend to watch shit.

Whether or NOT?!: YES, BUT… BUT… very very very tentatively…
Send one of your friends there first to do a reconnaissance and if they say it is moderately worth it then do it. Just like I always say, if you are going to EVER see an action/adventure-type movie, then you might as well see it with a giant screen and the most epic surround sound possible. SO if you just have an inclination that you may see this one day, go see it in the theater, but PLEASE try and see it on the cheap, or HEY! SNEAK IN!!!^[7]

And you know that I always recommend Joseph Gordon-Levitt movies.

Notables: Stephen Sommers, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dennis Quaid, Christopher Eccleston, Sienna Miller, Jonathan Pryce, Channing Tatum, & Marlon Wayans

Footnotes

1. my girlfriend [↩]
2. not in a movie produced or directed by her HUSBAND!!! WOW [↩]
3. never heard of this guy? you will… he is THOR [↩]
4. and I am not rushing to get my article done late night Thursday [↩]
5. with significantly less ass kicking involved. [↩]
6. at least I think Paul is playing himself [↩]
7. Two Word Heap does not condone sneaking into theaters [↩]

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