I am writing this on Thursday night, which means Tyler hates me… It’s true, Tyler. Don’t try to argue with me. Normally, I am busy because I am doing many things: projects and what not, or helping out my family or Monica’s[1] family with something… because I am the go-to guy. But lately I have taken up this thing called “Working Out”. Tyler doesn’t know what that means because his form of physical activity is accidentally dropping something behind a dresser or other object… He struggles for 10-15 minutes in various ways: trying to reach it, trying to move the object, or trying to create a “grabbing object”… He eventually quits, extremely tuckered, and naps after a glass of warm milk. Anyways, this working out thing has taken up a bunch of time… But enough about me, let’s talk about the MOVIES!
G-Force
OK, this is an animated/live action flick from Walk Disney and their new BEYOTCH, Jerry Bruckheimer. This is about a special ops force that is made primarily of guinea pigs, and I can tell you one thing for certain, Richard Gere will be in the front row. OK, this urban myth is retarded and I have never believed for a second that Gere put a gerbil up his butt, but it is still fun to make jokes about…
Whether or NOT?!: YES… if you have kids.
I think this is going to be a decent G-Rated flick and, for the most part, the lower the rating the worse the movie, and DEFINITELY the lower the rating the worse the “In The Theater” watching experience. Little kids yelling and screaming… gosh… I’m getting hives just thinking about it.
The movie has epic voice talent and there is no reason to think that it won’t be able to bring laughs to all ages, but then again, if you haven’t seen The Hangover yet… maybe you should do that.
Notables: Bill Nighy, Will Arnett, Zach Galifianakis, Nick Cage, Sam Rockwell, Jon Favreau, Penélope Cruz, Steve Buscemi, and Tracy Morgan.
The Ugly Truth
The plot of this movie is as follows: boy meets girl, girl hates boy, boy finds her hate interesting, boy plays with girl, boy pushes girl away, and eventually he figures out that he loves her, he can’t live without her and then he must win her back at any cost.
I hope I didn’t ruin it for you.
Whether or NOT?!: NOT.
Wait for it to be on DVD to make it a cheap “Date Night” in the house… but there are worse movies that your girlfriend can drag you to, so if you HAVE to see it in the movie theater, it could be worse.
Notables: Gerard Butler, Katherine Heigl, and that is funny… I assumed that there would be more than these two in this flick, I was too lazy to erase the “Coma” so I wrote this sentence instead.
Orphan
I don’t write about horror flicks… it isn’t my thing. So I do my best to not pass judgment on them but, let me just say, I occasionally do when I think it is going to be particularly awesome[2].
Whether or NOT?!: Abstained.
Notables: Peter Sarsgaard
The Answer Man
I was going to write about this one, but I want to write about the next movie… So let me show you the trailer.
Whether or NOT?!: Rent it…
Notables: Jeff Daniels, and Lauren Graham.
The Hurt Locker [wider release]
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!! Oh wait, this is where I try to talk about it in an unbiased way. This is a movie about the unsung heroes of the war in Iraq (and really the war anywhere), the WAR ZONE Bomb squad. OH WHO CARES ABOUT BEING UNBIASED! This movie is going to be one of the cinematic events of the year, and it is not often that you read things like “Possibly a perfect motion picture” from critics that aren’t known for being ‘Quote Whores’… just trust me on this one…
Whether or NOT?!: YES.
This is a definite yes, and I guarantee that you will love this movie… and you know how I do these articles? I base it purely off my gut and I am using my gut to guarantee to you that it will be brilliant. Trust me, this flick will launch careers and will garner Oscar gold. MARK MY WORDS!
Notables: Jeremy Renner. Guy Pearce, David Morse, and Ralph Feinnes.
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/rating_on.png "5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5")
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Something that I have noticed is that I can’t find the Hurt Locker anywhere… except LA, and this was the weekend it was going WIDER? i didn’t know that they meant that to merely mean that they have gone east a few blocks…