For The Weekend of July 31, 2009

July 31st, 2009 | Grant Tingley

Where Is My Hurt Locker!

Funny People

funny-people

Judd is back. Adam is back in a movie that is not for just kids. And Leslie Mann is back in a movie her husband is directing and/or producing… Wow surprise surprise…

This movie shows the growth of how Judd Apatow wants to tell stories; he is clearly delving into a more serious realm (though I am sure he is keeping plenty of dick and fart jokes along the way) and trying to find himself as a filmmaker, not just joke maker.

What I fear is that in an effort to create something in the Apatow-universe that is slightly different, he may lose the distinct voice that made his movies really stand out.

View Trailer View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES…
But i am fairly certain that it isn’t going to be the greatest of all the Apatow flicks. I think it is going to cram so much into this movie that it will become to muddled as it attempts to be something better than it really is. THAT BEING SAID… it is still going to be hilarious.

Notables: Judd Apatow, Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman & and a plethora of cameos that are tooooo numerous for me to delve into.

Aliens in the Attic

aliens-in-the-attic

ALIENS IN THE ATTIC!

Let me guess people find aliens in an attic? Someone fights with someone… and then everyone works it out in the end.

The only trick is who fights with who? Is it an outside force that wants to exploit the aliens, or is it the aliens fighting the people who live in the house? To tell you the truth, I don’t know and I don’t care, but if I have to watch another ANYTHING with someone from a Disney Channel show in it, I may kill myself. My girlfriend is making me hate the world thanks to her guilty tween pleasures… and no, I am not saying she wants to have pleasures with tweens, she just watches they Disney Channel… a lot…

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: NOT.
Just don’t see this unless a kid is dragging you. And by dragging I literally mean DRAGGING YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL! That being said, I think you are safe since most of you can kick the crap out of any little kid.

Notables: A standard mish-mash of tween stars and B-D list stars that have nothing better to do.

The Collector

the-collector

Let me QUOTE from last week when I wrote about Orphan.

I don’t write about horror flicks… it isn’t my thing. So I do my best to not pass judgment on them but, let me just say, I occasionally do when I think it is going to be particularly awesome^[1].

View Trailer View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES!
You see… sometimes, when it is going to be a good solid flick, I chime in. This will more than likely be a great horror flick… so see if it you can.

Notables: ANYONE? ANYONE? I got nothing.

OK… this movie keeps cock teasing me about going wide, so I am going to keep adding this post into every single WHETHER REPORT until it is released wide!!!

Please… movie company, I don’t like having cinematic blue balls…

The Hurt Locker [wider release]

the-hurt-locker

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!! Oh wait, this is where I try to talk about it in an unbiased way. This is a movie about the unsung heroes of the war in Iraq (and really the war anywhere), the WAR ZONE Bomb squad. OH WHO CARES ABOUT BEING UNBIASED! This movie is going to be one of the cinematic events of the year, and it is not often that you read things like “Possibly a perfect motion picture” from critics that aren’t known for being ‘Quote Whores’… just trust me on this one…

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES.
This is a definite yes, and I guarantee that you will love this movie… and you know how I do these articles? I base it purely off my gut and I am using my gut to guarantee to you that it will be brilliant. Trust me, this flick will launch careers and will garner Oscar gold. MARK MY WORDS!

Notables: Jeremy Renner. Guy Pearce, David Morse, and Ralph Feinnes.

Footnotes