TwoWordHeap

This weekend has only one good flick opening, and the great thing about it is that NONE OF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE IT. I continually get amazed at how some of these movies get green lit, but what can you do. Please grab your umbrella, we are in for a bit of a rough weekend.

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

This movie is a remake of a movie that has already been remade. In 1998, a TV version was made of the 1974 Original. By all accounts the TV version was HORRIBLE, and the original was great. Interestingly enough, there is a movie connection to Reservoir Dogs; using colors for names as a way to protect the identities was originated by the original 1974 version… huh… interesting.

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: NO…
This movie looks like a pile… an EPIC pile of crap.

Denzel Washington is great, and maybe this movie could have been good, but once you add a suck fest like John Travolta into a flick, you are doomed. It is a KNOWN FACT that a suck fest actor will always overpower a great actor.^[1]

So please, do not see this movie, though I know that you more than likely will. And according to our very own Brian Aranas, this flick will more than likely be number 1…

Great.

Notables: Tony Scott, Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Luis Guzman, John Turturro, & James Gandolfini.

Imagine That

What in the great good god damn?! Oh wait… be impartial until you get to the end…

OK…

Um… Eddie “Makes a Horrible” Murphy is starring in a family flick. It is a highly original concept where he is a straight-laced, go get ‘em business man, who is also a single dad. He spends all of his time focusing on work, and not on his daughter. AND GUESS WHAT!?!?!? Something happens that forces him to take notice of his daughter! At first he is doing it to just become a better business man, and eventually he discovers that being a daddy is the only business he really wants to be involved in. WHAT A PLOT!

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: GOD NO!
This movie is going to be so freaking bad that I am not even going to think up a clever analogy to explain how bad it is… It is just so bad that I would honestly eat random poop than see it.

Notables: Eddie Murphy, Bobb’e J. Thompson, Thomas Haden Church, & Vanessa Williams.

Moon

This movie has generated BUZZ. Hopefully it is good buzz…

Essentially this movie is about a man who has been living on the moon by himself, and he is nearing the end of his 3 year mission up there. AND GUESS WHAT!?! Absolutely nothing happens… The plot is really just a day in the life of a astronaut.

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES!
This is going to be a great movie, and I lied a bit about the “day in the life” but I don’t want to give much away! This is a tour de force movie for the star, Sam Rockwell, and it is a great showcase for the talents of a fairly unknown Writer/Director, Duncan Jones^[2]. So please go out and try and track down this flick this weekend. You will be one of those people that can say “they saw it before…”

Notables: Sam Rockwell & Kevin Spacey.

The Tale of the Weekend

Bullshit will rise, good will fall, but not as far as you would think! Don’t confirm my hatred of the average movie goer and make Pelham #1, because it clearly has #2 all over it.

1. Just look at Bride Wars. Kate Hudson sucked the life right out of the greatness that is Anne Hathaway [↩]
2. Though you know his daddy… David Bowie [↩]

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