TwoWordHeap

This is a weekend that is boring for a couple reasons.

1. There really isn’t anything horrible coming out that I can rail against.
2. There really isn’t anything great coming out that I can geek out over.

Race To Witch Mountain

In a world where former WWE superstar, The Rock, has slowly become the family friendly and extremely versatile leading man in Dwayne Johnson, it is easy to even forget that he used to scream things like “DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’!”^[1] Also, if anyone would have watched the only kinda sorta good Saturday Night Live this season (which was last weekend) you would’ve seen this “Dwayne Johnson” character nail an epic monologue that almost set him up to be the next great song and dance man on Broadway. THE GUY CAN FREAKING MOVE!

Stuff like that makes me want to see anything that a person like that would be in, and I definitely would want to see this guy do more song and dance. Possibly a musical version of Gladiator?

View Trailer

Whether or Not?!: Yes!

Definitely the best movie that is coming out this weekend, at least in wide release… Even though that is not really saying much, don’t let it detract from what I am saying about this flick. This movie is going to be really decent, and by decent I mean really good.^[2] This will probably be in the top family films list at the end of the year^[3], but definitely won’t be on the list of best films.

Really a number 1 reason to see this movie is Dwayne Johnson, and he is a reason to see any movie he is in.

The only bad thing about this movie is I am getting really tired with Hollywood regurgitating every idea they’ve had in the past 100 years. It is getting really frustrating that almost every weekend you can find at least one remake, re-imagining, or re-whatever being released. Are we to leave it to Pixar to be the only company making new original movies?!

Notables: Dwayne Johnson, Tom Everett Scott, Garry Marshall

The Last House on the Left

You know what I have to say about horror films: They are… wait… this isn’t a horror FILM! There is nothing supernatural, nothing crazy, nothing out of control about this film. This is actually a straight up, hardcore thriller. So don’t let Wes Craven’s involvement lead you to believe otherwise. Also something of note, the young actor who stars in the FANTASTIC Breaking Bad TV series, Aaron Paul, is also in this flick. His involvement makes me moderately interested in seeing something that is normally out of my film-matic comfort zone.

View Trailer

Whether or Not?!: If you like thrillers, and you need to see one this weekend… Yes.

This isn’t going to be a great flick, but it will be a jumper, with some good tension. So I give it a “yes”. Go and see it if you want your heart to be racing!

Notables: Tony Goldwyn, Monica Potter, Aaron Paul

Miss March

This is a flick that is from 2 of the 5 “Whitest Kids U Know” (who we recently LOOTED). Zach Cregger & Trevor Moore write, direct, and star in this teenage road trip sex comedy. The fact that these highly talented kids started off their feature career with this type of flick is kinda disappointing, though not necessarily surprising. Taking into account the entire film industry, doing a flick like this is safe and definitely will make its budget back and more. But, here’s the question on all our minds: Is this flick going to be good?

View Trailer

Whether or Not?!: If you are young, you have a group of friends, you’re bored, and you are in need of a laugh^[4] the yes, see this flick.

I can see this being a flick that will live forever on college and university campuses but, in all likelihood, it isn’t going to be a great genre flick. There will obviously be some great laughs, but I think the weakness itself will be in the two characters that are attempting to carry the whole film. I suspect that they won’t have the ability to sustain our interest and will in fact annoy more than they entertain.

Notables: Zach Cregger, Trevor Moore, Craig Robinson

Sunshine Cleaning [limited]

This is a little flick that would love to grab some of the audience from another “Sunshine” flick from a few years back. During this year’s Sundance Festival, this movie didn’t necessarily create much buzz but it, at least, got a distributor (more than can be said for a film with GREAT BUZZ, Assassination of a High School President). The thing that is interesting about this flick is the cast. It is a great cast with Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Steve Zahn, and Mary Lynn Rajskub. I think such a great cast should beget a great movie… right?!

View Trailer

Whether or Not?!: Yes, but wait for DVD probably.

This is going to be a prototype indie-dark/dramedy, and if you have enjoyed them in the past, you will enjoy this one. This is not something that is necessary to see it in a movie theater. You don’t need the big screen, you don’t need the epic sound system, and you don’t need to spend 12 bucks to see this flick. Just wait.

Notables: Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Steve Zahn^[5], Mary Lynn Rajskub^[6]

Questions

Do you mind living in a world where a former WWE Superstar is one of the top Box Office draws?
What role or type of role would you like to see Dwayne Johnson tackle (or pile drive) next?

Footnotes

1. what an interesting combination of punctuation [↩]
2. note I am not saying great at any time [↩]
3. number 1 being, of course, the Pixar movie this year Up [↩]
4. if you are high and/or drunk [↩]
5. one of my all time favorite actors. He is SOOOOOO underused! Everyone should hire this guy [↩]
6. this is CHLOE from 24! YEAH!!! [↩]
7. still haven’t seen it. I tried, but couldn’t find it on a “completely legal” website for free [↩]

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