Tuesday, February 09, 2010

The Heapstore is now open! There is an excellent selection of awesomeness. Order your very own awesomeness today!
HOLY SHIT!

Wow, it has been a while since I have done one of these… let’s just delve into this and go with the GUT with these!

Capitalism: A Love Story

capitalism
Written and Directed by Michael Moore

I don’t like Michael… end of story. He spreads ill-informed information like a raging fire. He gets people to become incredibly KNOWLEDGEABLE with his version of the truth. Now the thing that I have to state here is that I am nonpolitical on TWH and I hopefully will rarely spout a political opinion here, my problem isn’t the direction that Michael wants the country to go in… I don’t care if we get Health Care or not… I don’t care if we get Gun Control or not… I don’t care if Dub-eee-ya was an idiot or not… I just don’t care. The thing is that Michael so blatantly shapes facts to fit whatever he wants, and a lot of the time there isn’t even a smidgen of fact in the facts he shapes. He interviews people and makes them seem like idiots by having a snarky commentary and sound effects when they are talking. He interviews people and makes them seem like the most brilliant people by putting heroic music behind them.

I won’t continue on with this because it could get really boring, and my friend Jordan might cry with my berating of his hero.

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES.
Just because the guy is an idiot doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t see it. Bowling for Columbine was a great flick. If you take your personal feelings out of it, it was entertaining and brought up interesting points. That is what a doc is suppose to do: bring up interesting points to help YOU form YOUR OWN opinion. A documentary shouldn’t BE your opinion, and that is what so many people use Michael Moore movies as: their own opinion.

Not only does this show how weak you are about free thinking, but it shows how weak you are by being distracted by flashing pictures and loud noises. You are all the same people that think Megan Fox is the hottest girl ever… A little fact: she isn’t.

Ok, see this flick because you should be aware of all stances on important societal topics. You should take in all sides of arguments to form your own opinion about things that will effect your life. So PLEASE everyone watch this, but remember every bit you watch take with a grain of salt and add it to the stew that you should be using to form your own opinion.

Notables: Michael Moore

A Serious Man

a-serious-man
Written and Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen

This is a Coen Brother’s movie… yep…

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES!
Didn’t you read what I wrote about it?

This is a Coen Brother’s Movie…

WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW!?

Notables: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen, & Richard Kind

Zombieland

zombieland
Directed by Ruben Fleischer

This is a movie about a rag tag group of people that is going to fight a bunch of zombies… sounds like a movie done a million times before…

***talking off screen***
Oh… it’s a comedy?
***talking off screen***
Oh really? Woody Harrelson?
***talking off screen***
I thought he was dead…
***talking off screen***
OH HOLY SHIT REALLY? He did that!? That’s embarrassing…

Well given this new information, apparently this is just a movie that has only been done once before… COUGH COUGH Shaun of the Dead COUGH COUGH… So it should be essentially just as good as the second time we saw zombies a million years ago. And I refuse to research which movie mentioned zombies second… BUT I BET IT WAS FANTASTIC!

View TrailerView Trailer

Whether or NOT?!:YES!!!! OH GOD YES!!!
Come on… This movie is going to be fantastic. It has a great cast. Someone I always love (Woody) with someone I have begun to love because he is just a baby (Jesse Eisenberg). So see this movie.

I believe Tyler Hauser already saw it and said something like

OH GOD IT IS AMAZING OH MY GOD… MY BRAIN IS HURTING IT WAS SO AWESOMELY HILARIOUS… FANTASTIC FANTASTIC!! Liam Neeson was Amazing, and Ralph Fiennes was HILARIOUS!

Oh… I think I accidentally used Tyler’s quote about Schindler’s List, but I am sure it is interchangeable with Zombieland

Notables: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Abigail Breslin, Bill Murray, & Mike White

Whip It

whip-it
Directed by Drew Barrymore

This is essentially a proper, more mainstream follow up for Juno star, Ellen Page, and it seems to be a perfect fit for her. An outcast girl who ends up embracing the differences about herself and goes out to find out what she wants to do with her life… OK, pretty standard story, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be good.

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!:YES!
This will be a great movie, and it would be a good one to take your little lady friend too… Well, that is if you have a lady friend. Girls love to see their “sisters in vaj” running around doing shit… and roller derby? That’s cool shit.

Notables: Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Daniel Stern, Marcia Gay Harden

The Invention of Lying

the-invention-of-lying
Written and Directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson

Now this is a movie that you can’t really compare to any other flick. I have heard this movie described by other comedians as “A movie that we are all upset we didn’t think to make – it is so simple but it is so brilliant.”

Essentially, this is a movie about a society that hasn’t figured out what “lying” is yet, and assumes that everything that you say is the god’s honest truth. WHY? Well, because they won’t know any better. AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENS?! Someone figures out how to lie, and all hell breaks loose…

View Trailer

Whether or NOT?!: YES!
God this weekend is super jam-packed… but this is a movie that I have been looking forward to for a long long long long long time. I want to see it, and you should want to see it. If the simple premise doesn’t make you go “SHIT I SHOULD SEE IT”, then… just see it anyways… stupid…

Notables: Ricky Gervais, Matthew Robinson, Jennifer Garner, Louis C.K., Jonah Hill, Jeffrey Tambor, Rob Lowe, Tina Fey, John Hodgman, Nathan Corddry, Martin Starr, Jason Bateman, Christopher Guest, Stephen Merchant and there is a possible Edward Norton cameo? But who knows…

Can someone please tell Edward Norton to make a Death To Smoochy 2 before I have a heart attack?


JEES! There is a million movies this weekend… a million movies WORTH SEEING for one reason or another. But if you have to see one, please see The Invention of Lying. PLEASE! Oh wait… maybe it is Zombieland that you should see… Though I know Mr. and Mrs. Jordan will see Capitalism… I guess the Coen Brothers and Whip It are being left out in the cold… that sucks… OH WELL!

HEY READERS!

Which movie are you more excited to see?
Will you see Michael “Blow Hard” Moore’s movie and are you upset that I just called him a “Blow Hard”?

Related Articles

There are 5 comments

  1. Grant says:

    OH that is right… i forgot about trailer boys stuff, i don’t much of the press from that down here in California. and Trae I am pretty much in the same book as you, but I will eventually see Capitalism. Always keep your eyes on the crazy people trae… always…

  2. J Alary says:

    Once the Coens’ new film opens in Calgary, I’m very there, but I went with Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day because it’s the final storyline in the boys’ saga and I have to support Canadian cinema, popular or not–it’s very funny and surprisingly moving. Zombieland is a maybe, mostly because I still have to see Soderbergh’s The Informant!. After a summer of shite, there are so many choices at the multiplex and arthouses!

  3. Trae Hauser says:

    I will watch the rest in the following order: A Serious Man, The Invention of Lying, Whip It (meh), Capitalism: A Love Story (never).

  4. Carlene says:

    I chose Preston Sturges, because I am cheap and cold, and a hermit.
    Buut because you say ’sisters of the vag’, I’ll probably grease my way over to ‘Whip It’ one of these weekends.

  5. Trae Hauser says:

    Had to choose and I went with Zombieland. Glad I did!

Leave a comment

icon_wink.gif icon_neutral.gif icon_mad.gif icon_twisted.gif icon_smile.gif icon_eek.gif icon_sad.gif icon_rolleyes.gif icon_razz.gif icon_redface.gif icon_surprised.gif icon_mrgreen.gif icon_lol.gif icon_idea.gif icon_biggrin.gif icon_evil.gif icon_cry.gif icon_cool.gif icon_arrow.gif icon_confused.gif icon_question.gif icon_exclaim.gif